Thursday 20 May 2010

Cannabis story (the first version)

BRENT residens are surprised the former pub nearby is now being used to grow cannabis.

The Kingsbury Tavern in Church Lane was uncovered by police that the premises had been repainted with fresh creosote to help mask the smell of growing cannabis inside.

Xxx (the first resident), said: “quotes”.

Xxx (the second resident), said: “quotes”.

Police found 61 cannabis plants from the former pub and a strong smell of cannabis was emulating from the letter box only.

The premises, closed down at least two years ago, was searched by Fryent and Queensbury Safter Neighbourhoods (SN) Team on Friday 23 April.

Sergeant Gary Pidgeon from Fryent Safer Neighbourhoods Team said:

“The operation was in response to concerns raised by the local community.

“I urge that anyone who has experienced criminal activities in their area, drug related or otherwise should contact their local Safer Neighbourhoods Team or if they wish to remain anonymous phone crimestoppers on 0800 555111.”

The pub was re-painted by a 55-year-old man, who was arrested and had been bailed pending forensic examination.

(177 words roughly)

Saturday 15 May 2010

Harrow Crown Court story (the first version)

The VICTIM was left devastated because she lost her late husband's photos when her family home was burgled.

Marin Dragoi, a member of a Romanian burglary gang who smashed the window of Lynne Martin's house to get in, then took away her furniture and a laptop containing family photos, was sentenced for three years on Friday at Harrow Crown Court.

The 41-year-old, who was charged with 13 offences and with another 13 being taken into consideration, started a professional criminal career after arriving the UK in February 2009.

Ms Martin, the 58-year-old widow, who lives in Bushey, Hertfordshire, was described as feeling unsafe and extremely distressed at the court after the incident happened.

Her twin sister, Sue Griffin, said: “Everything my sister has worked for 35 years, all the memories of her husband, everything had been taken."

The court also heard Dragoi smeared excrement and semen at the victim's house after breaking into.

Recorder Richard Jacobs said to Dragoi at the court: “She was living alone, and she went to hospital to stay with her daughter.

“After returning home she found out rubbish was all over the place, furniture and computer were taken away.

“Particularly she said she felt unsafe, you didn't think about and care about.”

Dragoi was arrested in March and stole goods worth of total £48,000.

The gang target families while they are on holiday and caused many damages during burlaries.

Most of the break-ins occurred across Harrow, Barnet and Ealing.

(221 words)

Thursday 13 May 2010

Snail hunt story (the second version)

GIANT snails will take over Ruislip as locals enjoy a treasure hunt day on Saturday (22).

The town's first annual snail hunt, an adventure on the lookout for 20 oversized cut-out snails, is to celebrate National Escargot Day on Monday May 24.

The event, organised by French restaurant Café Rouge starting at 11am, needs participants to look around the areas surrounding the Café.

Imambao Lubinda, event organiser, said: “This year’s snail hunt is expected to bring lots of prize-hungry people out of their shells.

“Locals might build up an appetite to try our fantastic limited-edition snail menu.”

(99 words)

Snail hunt story (the first version)

GIANT snails will take over Ruislip and locals are to enjoy a treasure hunt day.

The town's first annual snail hunt, an adventure on the lookout for 20 oversized cut-out snails, is to celebrate National Escargot Day on May 24.

The event, starting at 11am on Saturday, need participants to look in and around the town centre.

Imambao Lubinda, event organiser Café Rouge manager, said: “This year’s snail hunt is expected to bring lots of prize-hungry people out of their shells.

“Locals might build up an appetite to try our fantastic limited-edition snail menu.”

(96 words)

Harrow band story (the second version)

A HARROW band dazzled the crowd in the biggest original music competition Live and Unsigned which is just like The X Factor.

Toxic Funk Berry, with its originality and unique performance style, impressed the judging panel at the Midlands final on May 8, and is now set to showcase their talent at the grand final The Live and Unsigned Festival in July.

The competition, attracted more than 30,000 entries in the past three years across the country, aims to promote unsigned acts and offer all genres music to audience.

Joe Berditch, 26, of Fernbrook Drive, Harrow, bass and synthesizer player of the band, said: “We feel good to reach the final, a lot of industry people will be at the final, and we are really looking forward to it.

“The competition is just like The X Factor. If we win we will work with someone in the industry, it is very helpful for us to get experience and achieve things.”

The act, formed by Joe and his brother Dom, a 29-year-old drummer, have been making electro-funk music for a couple of years and appeared often in north London's bars and clubs.

Jonny Wharton, 26, the guitarist and synthesizer player then teamed up with the two to form the band.

The three will play their music in front of the industry's biggest names such as the Slade frontman Noddy Holder, Radio 1's prime time presenter Greg Jamesl, RnB artist Shola Ama; and urban music DJ and Radio 1's Ras Kwame.

They will be performing on July 10 at The O2, Greenwich, south-east London.

Joe said: “We are not the traditional band and we are not the band to be categorised.

“We play quite unique music and have unique performance style.

“We use lap top and synthesizer, we interact with people and make the crowd move and dance with us.”

Chris Grayston, events director of Live and Unsigned, said: “The competition is all about originality, live ability and credibility.

“It's a fantastic achievement to make it to the grand final, and we've got some fantastic judges on board.”

The band will also tour Brighton, Bath, Barcelona and Germany before final in July.

The Midlands heat was held at the Corn Exchange at Saint Paul's Square in Bedford.

(382 words)

Wednesday 12 May 2010

Harrow band story (the first version)

A HARROW band dazzled the crowd in the biggest original music competition Live and Unsigned which is just like The X Factor.

Toxic Funk Berry, with its originality and unique performance style, impressed the judging panel at the Midland final on May 8, and is now set to showcase their talent at the grand final The Live and Unsigned Festival.

The competition, attracted over 30,000 entries in the past three years across the country, aims to promote unsigned acts and offer all genres music to audience.

Joe Berditch, of Fernbrook Drive, Harrow, bass and synthesizer player of the band, said: “We feel good to reach the final, a lot of industry people will be at the final, and we are really looking forward to it.

“The competition is just like The X Factor. If we win we will work with someone in the industry, it is very helpful for us to get experience and achieve things.”

The band also include a guitarist and synthesizer player Jonny Wharton, 26, and Joe's brother Dom Berditch, a drummer, 29.

The act will perform their music in front of the biggest names such as Noddy Holder, Urban DJ, Greg James on July 10 at The O2, Greenwich, south-east of London.

The 26-year-old said: “We are not the traditional band and we are not the band to be categorised.

“We play quite unique music and have unique performance style.

“We use lap top and synthesizer, we interact with people and make the crowd move and dance with us.”

The band will be touring Brighton, Bath, Barcelona and Germany with its gigs before hitting the final battle in July. 

The Midland heat was held at the Corn Exchange at Saint Paul's Square in Bedford.

(291)

Laughter yoga story (the fourth version)

MEMBERS of the Harrow Laughter Club hit to streets to greet passers-by with their special laughter exercises and funny costumes.

The group, one of 13 across the country, celebrated World Laughter Day with locals on Saturday May 1 and aimed to bring good health, happiness and stress relief to people.

Harish Chavda, 55, of Rayners Lane, a laughter Yoga therapist who runs the club, said: “Our 30 members went out in Rayners Lane and people were amused by our funny dresses and hats.

"They approached us and asked what laughter yoga is all about."

The club meets once a month at Harrow Quakers Meeting Hall in Rayners Lane, South Harrow to conduct group exercises that create spontaneous chuckling.

Mr Chavda said: “Everybody lives a stressed life and money is a serious issue for us.
"We used to laugh when we were young but we do not laugh now because life have become serious and these exercise let people laugh for no reason.

"People get physical and mental help and physically it helps improve circulation, like doing aerobic exercise, and mentally it is good for stress relief."

Mr Chavda has also developed a method which helps individual practise laughter alone at home.

Edited by Ian Proctor, from the Harrow Observer

Laughter yago story (the third version)

MEMBERS of a Laughter Club went around Harrow to greet residents with their laughter exercise and funny costume.

The Rayners Lane-based club, one of 13 across the country, celebrated World Laughter Day with the locals on Saturday May 1, aiming to bring them good health, happiness and stress relief.

Harish Chavda, 55, of Rayners Lane, a laughter Yoga therapist who runs the club, said: “Our 30 members went out in Harrow, people were amused by our funny dresses and hats, they approached us and asked what laughter yoga is all about.”

The club's group exercises include mobile phone laughter and no money laughter.

He said: “Everybody lives a stressed life, money is a serious issue for us; we used to laugh when we were young, but we do not laugh now because life have become serious.”

He explains these names reflect people's fast life and problems, “These exercises let people laugh for no reason. Physically helps improve circulation, mentally good for stress relief.”

Mr Chavda also developed a method which helps individual practise laughter at home.

The club meet on the first Saturday of each month at Harrow Quakers Meeting Hall.

For further information visit www.artofeating.co.uk

(197 words)

Spelling competition story (the third version)

PUPILS from a Harrow school showed off their language mastery by successfully writing words such as 'perturbed' and 'hologram'.

The Orley Farm School team defeated five rivalries schools in a local spelling competition entering Tuesday's semi-finals.

The local heat is part of a nationwide spelling competition “the 2010 Times Spelling Bee” which attracts more than 1,000 schools to take part in.

Barbara Boylan, teacher from Orley Farm School, said: “We felt our stomachs knotting with nerves as they spelled the last few words!

“It helps them learn spelling, gain academic award and we've got boys very competitive.”

The team consisted of three players, Sahil Shah, Thomas McGivney, Hussain Shah and one reserve Jack Lambert.

These 12-year olds said: “We are over the moon. We were pretty nervous after the first round but we regained our composure!”

The competition aims to discover the country's best young spellers and make spelling fun for children.

Both the local contest and semi-finals are held at Cineworld, Geron Way in north-west London.

The 10 winning teams will then compete at The Institute of Education's grand final at Russell Square, west-central London on June 24.

For more information visit www.timesspellingbee.co.uk

(199 words)

Tuesday 11 May 2010

Spelling competition story (the second version)

PUPILS from a Harrow school showed off their mastery of language in a local spelling competition by successfully writing words out such as 'perturbed' and 'hologram'.

A team of four, all aged 12, from Orley Farm School defeated its five rivalries schools at Cineworld in north-west London last Wednesday May 5 and won a place on next Tuesday's Semi-Finals.

The contest is part of a nationwide spelling competition “the 2010 Spelling Bee” organised by the Times and more than 1000 schools have participated in.

Barbara Boylan, teacher from Orley Farm School, said: “We felt our stomachs knotting with nerves as they spelled the last few words!

“It helps them learn spelling, gain academic award and we have got boys very competitive.”

The team consisted of three players and a reserve, Sahil Shah, Thomas McGivney, Hussain Shah and Jack Lambert.

Participants said: “We are over the moon. We were pretty nervous after the first round but we regained our composure!”

The contest aims to discover the country's best young spellers and make spelling fun for children.

The 10 winning teams from the Semi-Finals will compete in the Grand Final at The Institute of Education in west-central London on June 24.

For more information visit www.timesspellingbee.co.uk

(208 words)

Spelling competition story (the first version)

PUPILS from a Harrow school showed off their mastery of language in local heat by successfully spelling words such as 'perturbed' and 'hologram'.

A team of four, aged 12, from Orley Farm School defeated its five rivalries schools at Cineworld, Staples Corner Retail Park, last Wednesday May 5 and won a place on next Tuesday's Semi-Finals.

The contest is part of a nationwide spelling competition “the 2010 Spelling Bee” organised by the Times and more than 1000 schools have participated in.

Barbara Boylan, teacher from Orley Farm School, said: “We felt our stomachs knotting with nerves as they spelled the last few words!

“It helps them learn spelling, gain academic award and we have got boys very competitive.”

The team consisted of three players and a reserve, Sahil Shah, Thomas McGivney, Hussain Shah and Jack Lambert.

Participants said: “We are over the moon. We were pretty nervous after the first round but we regained our composure!”

The contest aims to discover the country's best young spellers and make spelling fun for children.

The ten winning teams from the Semi-Finals will compete in the Grand Final at The Institute of Education on June 24.

For more information visit www.timesspellingbee.co.uk

(200 words)

Monday 10 May 2010

Laughter yoga story (the second version)

MEMBERS of the Harrow Laughter Club went around Rayners Lane to greet residents with their laughter exercise and funny costume.

The Rayners Lane based club, one of 13 across the country, celebrated World Laughter Day with the locals on Saturday May 1, aiming to bring good health, happiness and stress relief to people.

Harish Chavda, 55, of Rayners Lane, a laughter Yoga therapist who runs the club, said: “Our 30 members went out at Rayners Lane, people were amused by our funny dresses and hats, they approached us and asked what laughter yoga is all about.”

The club's group exercises include mobile phone laughter, milkshake laughter and no money laughter.

He said: “Everybody lives a stressed life; money is a serious issue for us; we used to laugh when we were young, we do not laugh now because life have become serious, these exercise let people laugh for no reason.”

“People get physical and mental help, physically it helps improve circulation, like doing aerobic exercise; mentally it is good for stress relief.”

Mr Chavda has also developed a method which helps individual practise laughter alone at home.

For further information, you can visit them at: www.artofeating.co.uk

(199 words)

Laughter yoga story (the first version)

HARROW Laughter Club celebrated World Laughter Day 2010 with residents in the borough telling people who laugh often will live longer.

Club members went around Rayners Lane area on Saturday May 1 and ran through the laughter exercises enjoyed by borough's good folks.

Harish Chavda, 55, of Rayners Lane, a laughter Yoga therapist who runs the club, said: “Laughter exercise brings good health to people and at the moment so many negativities, like recession, are going on in our world.

“People will get physical and mental help, physically it helps improve circulation, it is like doing aerobic exercise; mentally it is good for stress relief.”

Mr Chavda has developed a special method which involves laughing by oneself in front of a mirror at home.

“My method helps people do laughter exercise when they are back home and helps boost their self-esteem.”

The laughter practice sessions running in the club include mobile phone laughter, milkshake laughter and no money laughter, and the whole sessions end up with a ten-minute cool down relaxation.

There are 13 laughter clubs in the UK. To find further information about Harrow Laughter Club, you can visit them at: www.artofeating.co.uk

(196 words)

Friday 7 May 2010

The Two Mongoleers story (the second version)

AN ENFIED man will embark a 10,000 miles adventure to help raise money for homeless children.

Paul Evans, 32, of Bush Hill Park, and his childhood sweetheart Laura Over, also 32, will drive across 14 countries from Goodwood, Chichester to the Capital of Mongolia Ulaanbaatar this summer.

The pair, going by team name The Two Mongoleers, are one of 280 UK teams participating in The Mongol Rally 2010 to raise money for The Christina Noble Children’s Foundation, Cancer Research UK, and The Neurofibromatosis Association.

Paul, who is an event manager, said: “We aim to help charities. It is a case that at the moment there are lot of debts going around; a lot of people are not well off and we should not always think of ourselves.

“It is also an opportunity to do something different. It is about change to see the world, to meet people, and push yourself out of the comfort zone. It is about crossing the countries without any backing.”

Laura Over, who is a paralegal from Brighton, said: “We are aiming to raise £2,000 for the charities, and so far we have already raised £800.

“The money raised for The Christina Noble Children’s Foundation will go directly to the schools in Ulaanbaatar, will help rescue homeless children’s education, welfare, and provide housing and clothing for them.”

If you would like to sponsor The Two Mongoleers or want to know more about their adventure, you can visit them at www.thetwomongoleers.co.uk

(244 words)

The Two Mongoleers story (the first version)

An Enfield man is set to drive from Goodwood, Chichester to the Capital of Mongolia raising money for local homeless children.

Paul Evans, 32, of Bush Hill Park, Enfield, and his co-driver Laura Over, 32, will embark a 10,000 miles adventure driving across 14 countries towards Ulaanbaatar in the coming summer.

The pair, dubbed as The Two Mongoleers, are one of 280 UK teams participating in The Mongol Rally 2010 to raise money for The Christina Noble Children’s Foundation, Cancer Research UK, and The Neurofibromatosis Association.

Laura Over, Paralegal at asb law in Crawley, Sussex, said: “We are aiming to raise £2,000 for the charities, and so far we have already raised £800.

“These money raised for The Christina Noble Children’s Foundation will go directly to the schools in Ulaanbaatar, will help rescue homeless children’s education, welfare, and provide housing and clothing for them.

“Money raised for The Neurofibromatosis Association will help their medical research as well as for those who are affected.”

Paul, event manager at IMRG, said: “We aim to help charities. It is a case that at the moment there are lots of debts going around; a lot of people are not well off and we should not always think of ourselves.

“It is also an opportunity to do something different. It is about change, to see the world, to meet people, and push yourself out of the comfort zone. It is about crossing the countries without any backing.”

Laura said at the moment they are busy preparing their trip, arranging visas, finding out routes, getting equipments and medical injections.

So far the pair has attracted three sponsorships, including Jefferies Farm, asb law and The Legal Executive Journal, and they will also be driving a Iitre VW Polo donated by Jefferies Farm.

If you would like to sponser The Two Mongoleers or know more about their adventure, you can visit them at www.thetwomongoleers.co.uk

(316 words)

Firewalkers (the second version)

Do you know hot-footed firewalkers will help raise funds for patients this weekend?

All the walkers will go through five metres of smouldering coals, measuring over 800 degrees.

The event, organised by Hospice on Saturday 8 May, will held at the Five Bells Pub, East End Road N2.

Aze Siddiqui, community fundraiser, said: “It’s fundraising with a difference and also allows those who are unable to run or cycle any distance to take part in a major fundraising event.”

Spectators will be entertained by live band, Metal Detectors during the event.

The organiser will also hold a raffle and the registration is £30 with no minimum sponsorship.

Walkers can register online at www.northlondonhospice.org.uk or contact fundraising on 020 8446 2288.

(120 words)

Firewalkers (the first version)

Firewalk will be held at the Five Bells Pub on East End Road this weekend to raise funds for specialist patient care.

The event, organised by North London Hospice on Saturday 8 May, will let participants walk over five metres of smouldering coals, measuring over 800 degrees.

Azey Siddiqui, community fundraiser, said: “It’s fundraising with a difference and also allows those who are unable to run or cycle any distance to take part in a major fundraising event.”

Participants will receive one hour motivational talk before the walk starting and spectators will be entertained by live band, Metal Detectors during the event.

The organiser will hold a raffle for walkers and guests with prizes donated by local businesses.

The registration is £30 and with no minimum sponsorship.

Walkers can register online on www.northlondonhospice.org.uk or contact Fundraising on 020 8446 2288.

(140 words)

Monday 3 May 2010

A sample from the Harrow Times

FLOOD warnings have been issued for rivers in north London after last night downpour.

Passive voice emphasizes "flood warning", and then introduced where, when and why.

Heavy rain during the last 16 hours has led the Environment Agency to issued flood warnings for Harrow, Edgware and Barnet.

Breaking down the intro: more details of Why, Where, and who issued flood warnings.

The alerts are for areas surrounding the River Pinn and its tributary the Woodridings Stream, the River Brent through Hendon, Brent Cross and Wembley, as well as smaller waterways in Kenton, Stanmore, Edgware, and Colindale.

More details about Where.

These are part of 13 flood warnings issued for the Thames region due to the rain sweeping across the south east of the country.

Giving readers a national picture - These are part of 13 flood warnings issued for the Thames region; the rain sweeping across the south east of the country.

Police have also warned motorists to take care today due to the wet conditions.

Additional information: police's warning to motorists.

By Tristan Kirk , from the Harrow Times

Some intro samples from the Harrow Times

Good intro samples I found from the Harrow Times, with their second paragraphs and quotes etc:

HARROW'S health services are facing “massive cuts” because of a £32m black hole in their budget, Tory politicians have warned.

Here the reporter put "Tory politicians have warned" at the end of the intro, starting with present tense by using "Harrow's health are facing" to introduce the angle he chose.

Conservative candidates Bob Blackman and Rachel Joyce have pointed to the multimillion pound deficit in NHS Harrow's budget as an indication that Labour are “mismanaging” the NHS.

Second paragraph breaked down the intro: who are the Tory candidates? (Conservative candidates Bob Blackman and Rachel Joyce); a £32m black hole? (the multimillion pound deficit in NHS Harrow's budget); 'an indication that Labour are "mismanaging" the NHS' is to introduce the quote, see the following paragraph:

Mr Blackman, who is standing in Harrow East, said: “Despite Labour’s claims to champion the NHS, these figures show how Harrow residents are facing significant cuts in healthcare spending on Labour’s watch.

.......

THE future of health services has been put at the forefront of the General Election as the battle to be Harrow's MPs enters the final week.

Here the reporter used passive voice to emphasize "The future of health services" - THE future of health services has been put at the forefront of the General Election; "as the battle to be Harrow's MPs enters the fnal week" is to remind readers the final week before polling day is coming.

Andrew Lansley, shadow health secretary, toured Northwick Park Hospital on Thursday and promised to cut away unnecessary targets and levels of bureaucracy if the Tories take power.

Second paragraph introduced who, when, where, and what; then immediately linked with Andrew Lansley's quote:

He said: “We are going to get rid of the politically driven targets, some of the process targets that are not needed.

......

By Tristan Kirk , from the Harrow Times

News writing comments from Andrew Kelly

Andrew Kelly, news writing tutor at NoSweat, commented on my two stories and helped me tighten up my intros:

My first story intro: A leading Chinese community activist claims London's Chinatown would collapse if the new immigration rules are not amended.

Andrew's intro: London's Chinatowm will collapse if new immigration rules are not changed, says a leading Chinese community activist.

He explained in the e-mail reply: "London's Chinatown will (rather than would) collapse if (no need for 'the') new immigration rules are not changed (amended is correct but changed is more commonly understood), says a leading Chinese community activist.

My second story's intro: "Members of the public are fed-up of sitting Labour MP for Harrow East Tony McNulty, saying they would vote for other parties to keep Labour out."

Andrew's intro: "Voters in Harrow East say they want expenses scandal Labour MP Tony McNulty out.

He commented the way he writes would be more effective than my openning paragraph.

In addition, Andrew also gave me essential advice of how to write effective intros overall:

* less is always more so remove any words that are not
essential
or

* try to find single words that cover a series of words.

* Also think about creating maximum impact by changing the arrangement and using active and present tense.